Monday, 22 August 2016

The Parliamentary Adventures of Finance Bill...

This month we bring you news from our man on the inside, Finance Bill. 

A distant cousin of ‘Buffalo Bill’, he’s full of the same intrepid daring as his namesake, but champions accountancy instead. Resplendent in his pin-striped furry chaps, feather-adorned bowler hat and carrying his wet security blanket, he’s often seen wandering around Parliament and the financial markets: unholstering and twirling his twin, solar-powered calculators, and typing out numbers on them so that they spell rude words when read upside down.

Apparently, there’s been a lot of confusion these last few months. 

There’s another Finance Bill in town and people are getting them mixed up – which is why the Leader of the House has called a parliamentary recess and delayed its resumption until everyone’s back from their jollies.

That doesn’t mean to say though that the real Finance Bill (“I’m Spartacus!”) isn’t being asked on a daily basis when the other Finance Bill will complete the Committee stage (it has already), when the Report stage will commence (5th September), and how many pages long it is (600). 

Rather than be asked these questions, he’s hoping that someone will actually ask him what the Finance Bill is. And then tell him the answer, as he hasn’t got a clue.

There’s a rumour going around that it’s to do with the legislation for new tax measures on personal allowance, higher-rate banding, CGT and Corporation Tax, so watch this space. 

In the meantime, calculator bingo, anyone?

Until next month...