Following a quiet couple of months, our intrepid man on the inside,
Finance Bill has been back in touch. And excited wasn’t the word…
According to him, whilst wandering the corridors of Parliament, he
managed to track down a chap called Hamond and came away with his biggest scoop
to date – the inside track on The Autumn Statement.
Apparently, after much pressing, and despite Mr Hamond claiming to know
not much more than the average person about it (which Finance Bill simply put
down to modesty), big changes lie ahead. As well as expecting things to get
rather chilly, a lot of trees will develop disease, causing their leaves to drop
off. Oh, and we probably won’t see any bears either. Or squirrels.
Whatever Finance Bill lacks in common sense, he more than makes up for in
enthusiasm, albeit a little misguided at times. But, one day, we know he’s
going to come good. Provided he actually gets to speak to the right people…
Just for the record, The Chancellor, Philip Hammond, will be delivering
his first Autumn Statement on 23rd November 2016 in which he’ll give
an update on the state of the economy. Amid reassuring early indications that
the UK is financially holding up far better than expected after voting to leave
the EU, he’s also expected to reveal the government’s intended fiscal direction
regarding Brexit, along with proposed measures to avoid recession and drive the
UK’s economic growth.
Finance Bill is still confused though. He always thought that November
was in winter.
