Monday, 10 July 2017

Tour de France? On yer bike!

But a Cycle to Work scheme might tempt you back in the saddle…

It’s cycling season and, depending on where you sit as a commuter, it can be the best or worst time of the year.

If it’s atop a razor-thin saddle, well, there’s still the joy of the open road and the freedom of gliding past standstill traffic. If it’s behind a steering wheel, you can find yourself averaging 15mph thanks to the pair of cyclists riding abreast in front of you. 

So, if you can’t beat them, why not join them?

Since the Cycle to Work scheme was introduced to promote a healthy commute to work, countless employees have made the most of its tax-free benefits, with some of their employers also enjoying NIC savings. But that’s only half the fun.

Just look at some of the other benefits it offers…

You’ll feel fitter.
Maybe. Eventually. But only once you’ve become used to exercising for the first time since the Penny Farthing was invented, and after you’ve recovered from the aches and pains emanating from parts of you that you never knew you had until now.

It promotes quicker and more efficient work meetings.
Because even though you’ve invested in a deluxe air-cushion saddle and won’t leave the house without 3 pillows attached to your derrière, you still can’t sit down for the rest of the day. As a result, not only have you never moved around so gingerly, standing-only meetings have never proven so popular with you – despite everyone else in the room wondering why you’re being so restless.

It’s great for team-building.
Especially if you club together with colleagues and buy a seven-seater tandem. And don’t sit at the back not pedalling, or eating crisps there without telling anyone.

You’ve an excuse to kit yourself out in head-to-toe lycra.
Either as someone who actually knows what they’re doing, or as a fully-fledged member of the All-The-Gear-And-No-Idea Brigade (and often found as part of a peloton of MAMILs – Middle-Aged Men in Lycra).

It will save you a fortune in petrol.
Provided that:
A) You’ve not invested an equivalent fortune in kitting yourself out in head-to-
     toe lycra. 
B) You’ve not spent your savings treating yourself to a well-earned pastry or 
     five on your arrival to work each morning. (This is particularly inadvisable for   
C) You still have the energy to cycle home and don’t have to pay someone to    
     come and fetch you.

Convinced? We thought not.

In that case, how about the next best thing? Why not book some holiday in front of your TV this summer and watch a load of lunatics cycle 200km per day en route to Paris? 

It’s not tax-free but it’s a lot more relaxing.

Until next month...